Awakening-Being the Beloved

Awakening Process (one person’s path 1998 thru 2005)

http://www.bigfoto.com/themes/nature/sky/lightning-2a7z.jpg
Credit: BigFoto.com

Since my body/mind has consistently been steered away from reading much of the current spiritual dialogue, I cannot consider myself an expert on that dialogue. What I can do, is to make observations about my own journey so that those whose journeys are similar, can be aware of some of the signposts. There will be others, later, who are more detail oriented and will be able to better explain much of this in detail.

My body/mind’s incoming level of Intention was 1001 and my current Level of Consciousness (LOC) calibrates at 12,001. Many of you who will be reading this will be able to reach that level with little or no effort within the next two lives. In fact, most of you reading this could probably make 10,001 if you are open enough, without the same dramatic awakenings listed below because, as Homo-Spiritus, you have much higher incoming levels of Intention (averaging approximately 7,000+).

There are many small individual signposts along the way that only you will know about: like an oil painting of a little girl from Nome, Alaska, that my mother had, which was a particular favorite of mine for many years. The more I knew about this process, the more I understood why certain things appealed to me. For instance:

The girl in that picture (circa 1958) represented that knowing, open innocence of young children who are receptive to whatever Consciousness brings to them (Level of Consciousness = 1000).
My favorite music, dating back to my teens, calibrates at 900 and above (there is a brief passage in Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2 at 10,000).
An etching of a woman which hung on the wall at my chiropractors office in Sedona that took my breath away when I first saw it (2000).
A picture of Jesus Christ that I simply had to have (2,000).
A short brief contemporary ballet scene found amongst the deleted scenes of a movie (3000).
A Russian movie that calibrates at +2400 except for a 10 second lyric which calibrates at -5,000 (Level of Consciousness of the movie with the lyric = 1,200). The first time I watched the movie, the contrast of the lyric was so strong that it hit me like a ton of bricks and almost took my breath away.

You will have many of these understandings as you progress.

NOTE: Eventually you will find that my calibrations (those between 1 and 1,000) average about 8-9% higher than those of Dr. David A. Hawkins, MD, PhD, who originally calibrated the Map of Consciousness (Power Vs Force). We vary even more widely on anything over 1,000 because it appears that he has never published anything over 1,000 and my world begins at 1,001. I have come to understand what the differences are and have decided to stay with what Consciousness has chosen to present to me.

Over the years there were periods of time when there was closer contact with Consciousness without even the knowledge of what it was. In my late teens, after a suicide attempt, for about two years there was an uncanny intuition as to the accuracy of statements made by others. Now I know that if what comes from within is a sense of heaviness, then that is equivalent to an answer of “NO”. If a sense of lightness is perceived, the answer is the equivalent to an answer of “YES”. At that time I could not have told you even that much about it, but just knew when someone suggested something that was not particularly accurate.

JFK University

About 1998 I was working on a Transpersonal Psychology Master’s program at JFK University. It was after several quarters that the Spiritual classes began to be more interesting to me than the psychology classes. One class, Prayer of the Heart, made such an impact that I audited it again the next year. At one point during the first class, we were led in a meditation designed to move our center of awareness from the 6th chakra, up past the 7th and down past the 5th chakra and into the 4th chakra, or heart (this is not the way the teacher described it, but is the basic route that was taken in order to bring one’s awareness from the head to deep within the heart). When asked what we felt once we had entered the heart space, there was such a quietness within, and a sense of knowing (not knowledge because knowledge is composed of words and thought, but just a sense of knowing). It was only later when the quietness wore off and negative thoughts and emotions filled the space, that “I” began to wonder about what had happened (this occurred several times over the next few years). Since that class, there have been occasions when looking into someone’s eyes, when I can feel that this person has had a similar experience of quiet and knowing, or when I can see in the eyes of a painting that the painter has had this experience and is trying to recapture it.

Over a period of years (1985 – 1999), there were several emotional therapy workshops that also featured exercises like Holotropic Breathwork, or exercises that were meant to open us to the energy within. The effect of one week-long class was such that I wrote a $1,000 check to repeat the class before the class had fully completed. The long-term effect of those classes taken before retirement was strong enough that when early retirement came, this is what my body/mind wanted to experience and teach.

After taking several week long classes during the summer of 1998, there was a very strange dream, early one morning. During that dream, there was a bolt of lightening which traveled from approximately the 2nd chakra, through the body and woke me up. For about three days afterward, my body, which weighed about 325 lbs, had more energy than the mind could ever remember. Complete Exhilaration!! How could one be frightened? Within a month there was a second episode. This time the energy seemed to branch down my arms and into my neck. WOW!

After assisting at another class in the late summer of 1998, I woke to a delicious feeling of vibration in my arms and legs and part of my torso. It felt as if someone had yelled “Fire” and my body responded by injecting massive amounts of adrenaline into the blood stream. After waiting about ten days to see if it would fade or disappear in the night, I called my teacher of the time, who shouted over the phone, “Great! You’ve got the Holy Spirit!” Somehow, that did not feel like a term that fit (for me), but after asking questions and doing some research, the term “Chi” felt right. It is not that this body suddenly “acquired” chi because it had always been there, but that I was now able to feel it in the body. One time, about a year later it appeared to be gone which upset me. I talked to my higher power and it showed up again a few days later.

In the fall of 1998, I decided that if my body/mind was really interested in pursuing a spiritual path, I should begin to meditate seriously. I had taken several classes over the years (since 1979) but had never meditated consistently for more than a couple of weeks, or past one hour duration except in class. After trying several techniques (open eyes, closed eyes, counting breaths, watching breaths, mantras from different teachers, etc.) for about six months, this body settled into one technique and the meditations began to lengthen. However, the first time that the meditation ran substantially past an hour in length, it felt like my body fell into a deep hole, filled with wonderful energy until I felt it was time to leave. After that, it was as if there was no more need for meditation. Many times over the next year or so, this body/mind would sit, but there was always some form of disruption to the meditation. Several years later a traveling teacher (Prince Hirindra Singh PhD, who, as far as I can tell, in early 2003 is the first person whose Level of Consciousness moved past 1000 since Jesus Christ walked the Earth) gave me a numerology reading. One of the first things he told me was that if there was worry about not meditating as much as others felt I should, that it was normal since I had meditated for many lifetimes and it was more than time to move on to other things.

Early in 1999, there was another form of opening which was much stronger than the previous openings. I was initially asleep, in a fetal position. The lightening bolts of the past openings were almost too quick to actually watch, but this one was slightly slower and as “I” watched, the body literally flew across the bed (less than 1.5 seconds), opening as it turned, with a fierce energy that surged from the 2nd chakra, through the 3rd chakra and into the 4th chakra which was in the process of opening. The actual opening of the heart reminded me of the shutter on a camera which rotates as it opens to the light, rotating again as it closes. A teacher at JFK later told me that this was also a form of Kundalini opening.

Over the next eighteen months there were many things happening. The Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue were really beginning to slow my body and mind to the point of not being able to take the stress of the classes at JFK. I sold my house and moved to Sedona, Arizona (early 2000) which had always felt so wonderful and relaxing; but the summer heat and a new teacher compelled me to undertake yet another move, this time to Grass Valley, California. Looking back, it appears that one of the reasons for the move was to come in contact with local author, David A. Hawkins MD PhD, author of Power Vs Force. Since he was not teaching or lecturing yet, I felt comfortable moving to a place where there was an active spiritual teacher.

GRASS VALLEY

Once in Grass Valley, I began experiencing and learning about Living Essence sessions (Winter 2000 thru Spring 2003). It was an exploration process designed to find and reduce the emotions associated with highly charged areas of memory. In addition to taking classes in preparation for doing this work myself, I also began weekly sessions for myself (15 months) with a psychotherapist who specialized in this work.

During an exercise at a Satsang/dance in early 2003, a strange feeling crept into my awareness. As the exercise completed and we adjusted our chairs for the Satsang, it was as if my body no longer was a container; and as I sat down, all sense of boundary dropped. My mind, which could still hear the dialogue of the teacher, was no longer the center but just a terminal someplace, taking in and storing data. It felt like my body/mind was in a deep meditation, but it felt as if “I” was bigger than the body. Everything seemed both far away and right here at the same time. My eyes were still open, and it was fascinating to watch the Satsang and the dance afterwards from a place of clarity. I saw things about these people that I might never have seen, otherwise. After several hours of not moving a muscle, my teacher approached and reassured me that everything was OK and that awareness would eventually return to my body. Over the next two months, there were three of these sessions which I eventually decided were what is called “Samadhi”. At the end of the first and last session, it felt as if I had to relearn how to move, then how to walk, and how to speak. While the gross motor movements returned fairly quickly (within a half hour), it still took about 6 hours before minor motor movements returned fully.

During that first Samadhi, the resident of the house signaled the end of the dance and I knew that this body would have to move, to leave. I walked like I was drunk (probably drove like it too). There was the most delicious energy that encompassed the second and third chakras. By the time I got home, the energy had moved up to my heart; and by the time I was in bed (covered up, fully clothed, with my jacket still on), it was in my throat. It seemed to come in waves; and there was nothing else - not the bed, not the clothes - just the energy. It was probably a year or more before I quit trying to get back to that intoxicating deliciousness, before I recognized that it had been, among other things, a “carrot”.

Later that year, while taking a Chi Gong class from Lee Holden, I asked him about the energy, partly because it did not fit any of the descriptions that I had heard or read about relating to Kundalini energy. He said that for many women, the Kundalini energy flows up the front of the body rather than up the spine. I checked this out with a friend, Terry Hunt (a Bio-Energetic Psychotherapist), and he told me that it was not about men vs women, but about whether you were a thinking person or a feeling person. The normal route for the thinking person is up the spine, and the normal route for a feeling type person is up the front, through the chakras.

KINESIOLOGY

After ordering another copy of Power Vs Force from the author in Sedona, I learned that Dr. Hawkins had begun giving monthly, day-long lectures in Sedona. During 2002, I managed to attend six of the lectures and viewed the other six by video tape. Dr Hawkins was recommending that people learn applied Kinesiology (muscle testing) to ask their own questions. I took my first work in Kinesiology (Questions 1b) to Sedona in July, and Questions 3 and 4 in September to make sure that the work being done was on the right track, and have never looked back. There is nothing that has been done in my life that can remotely compare with the ability to ask all the questions I want, from a non-judgmental source. It is a learning tool “par excellence”. More has been learned from this source than during my entire life combined. The clearing, the awakening that has come from this source in one month is more than that which had accumulated over my entire life. It has been a process of continual awakening, a stretching.

On June 16, 2002, right after attending the second lecture, a form of Kundalini openings began in earnest. They became daily events at approximately 5:00 AM in the morning, and lasted for about 27 months. It began as a shaking of my right leg. At some point several months later, the shaking ended with the body going completely stiff for about 3 seconds and then relaxing. By the beginning of 2003, there would be extra energy during the day. At some later point, rather than the body becoming stiff, the entire body would begin to move in something like a sine wave. Towards the end, in late 2004, I would count the number of waves, thinking that 50 was great until one day it was 150! At one point, the openings quit and I sighed with relief only to have them start up again a month later after seeing a visiting healer.

During this same time, my Level of Consciousness was continually rising. Every day brought new information and new insights. As my body/mind opened to those insights, the result would be a slightly higher Level of Consciousness. There were times when I was afraid that my Kinesiology was wrong, that somehow I was doing something wrong, and the Level of Consciousness would drop back to the 700 to 900 range. This would also bring a sense of physical relief for about 24 hours. But then the level of Consciousness would begin to rise again, and again. There was a lot of fear and excitement combined, but at times the fear would be stronger. At some point it became obvious that the frequency in my body was truly rising that fast; and after that point, I just watched and calibrated. There was nothing else to be done. When the calibrations indicated that it had reached 25,000 (the frequency limit of the material world) and then kept going, the answers to my questions indicated that it was not truly my Level of Consciousness that was being calibrated but some other factor which I eventually called a “Flow-thru frequency”. The answers led me to believe that it was an increasing level of frequency that used the 7th chakra to pass energy through to this world from the unmanifest. There were times when an increased level of power flowing through the 7th chakra would literally put my body into Samadhi again for several hours (at a lower level), and occasionally there would be days when I just slept off and on all day. It was only then, after I had read Eric Pearl’s book, The Reconnection, that it became clear that the energy which was passing through my 7th chakra, was flowing into the Grid around the Earth. Although Eric talks about using energy from the Grid, this appeared to be supplying the Grid with energy.

About mid-2004, after developing a method of tracking the awakening process, one particular value stood out as being the best: an overall measure of the depth of clarity as the awakening process unfolds. It could be calibrated as the total percentage of negative frequencies which had been cleared from the body. In the USA, for instance, the average level of clearing is approximately 10.5%. In the poorer countries, it is closer to 7%. However, the average level of clearing for a young adult Indigo (in 2005) is closer to 22.5%, and for the young Crystal adults it is over 27%. My level of clearing at the time that I moved to Grass Valley, was closer to 1% (no wonder I was so needy!). After nine years of psychotherapy in Alaska and Berkeley, plus doing all that clearing work for over a year with a psychotherapist, it was still barely over 2%. As soon as I had been using Kinesiology for three months, the level of clearing had risen to over 10 percent! At one year it had risen to 27%, and at two years, 40%. It was obvious that my level of clearing did not depend on my knowing about what was happening in the family, or who did what to whom, or how many Living Essence sessions had been experienced, or how many years of Kundalini meditation that this body had done. It was a gift of grace and it was free!!!!!

As soon as a person’s Level of Consciousness moves over 70% of their original incoming Level of Intention (for Homo-Sapiens), or over 80% of their original incoming Level of Intention (for Homo-Spiritus), the negative frequencies begin to leave the body automatically. Granted, that level of clearing is slow enough at that Level of Consciousness to take 20+ years to clear 10% of the negative frequencies from the body; but at 90% of the incoming Level of Intention, it would initially clear the same amount of negative frequencies in less than three months.

THE EGO

The older view of “enlightenment” was that the ego disappeared, or was annihilated. This is what I have seen over the past 3 years:

What we call the “ego” is the lower range of frequencies within the whole of the body/mind/spirit spectrum (prior to clearing, within the range of 1 thru 199)
As the combined frequency (Level of Consciousness) of the body/mind/spirit rises high enough, it triggers an automatic clearing of negative frequencies within the range of 1 thru 199
Depending of the amount of clearing completed, the overall effect of this automatic clearing is the following:

There is a shift from the ego being in the foreground, to being in the background most of the time, which has an effect similar to turning down the volume on your TV set
The actual chatter of the ego slows considerably
There are periods of time when the chatter of the ego seems to disappear. You do not notice the disappearance, but you definitely notice when it pops up again (usually in response to a personal issue which is bothering you)
In addition to the initial rise in LOC which initiates automatic clearing, the effect of the clearing is to allow the overall LOC to drift to an even higher level.
The tone of the ego changes as more and more of the negative or destructive frequencies are cleared.

What I have been experiencing is that there will always be something that remains which is considerably less creative than the overall LOC. That something (originally called the ego) will always be a thinker and a doer. It is like something which is following, or tagging along, constantly trying to emulate the higher, more creative frequencies. Those higher frequencies may be in a thinking and doing mode, or in a feeling and being mode. The act of emulation by the lower frequencies however, is a thinking and doing action.

As the tone, the focus, and volume of the ego changes through clearing, it begins to take on a very different style. Its entire approach changes from one of Fear (prior to clearing), to one of Courage (after initial clearing from frequencies 1 thru 199), Neutrality (as the LOC of the body/mind/spirit reaches and passes 12,001 at which time the clearing is from 1 thru 249) and Willingness (for beginning level Angels).

At the level of Fear, the ego literally chatters, constantly, worried about this and that, afraid of being caught, of being unseen, of not having enough, of not being enough. It is the constant regurgitation of every negative thing that we have been taught in this life.

At levels of Consciousness less than 12,001, and after substantial clearing, the ego begins to slowly drop old, negative habits and take on new, self imposed duties and habits. No one requested these changes, the ego just takes on the job of planning things for you, whether you can use what it comes up with, or not. If you have a brief intuition, it grabs the idea, claims it as it’s own, and does research on it perusing memories and the Collective Unconscious (Homo-Spiritus has a separate Collective Unconscious). If you care to, you can watch this as the ego works on it. The ego also rehearses dialogs for you. If you are worrying about how to ask your boss for a raise, it will work out that dialog for you. The problem is that whatever solution it works on will be much less creative than what is available by remaining open to Consciousness. It is the same old ego, just working at a higher level.

At a level of Consciousness of 12,001 or higher, the automatic clearing not only clears the frequencies from 1 to 199 but continues clearing through 249. This means that the lowest frequencies in the body are at the level of Neutrality. That does not mean that the ego immediately changes its spots. It will take time for its operating level to move higher, to some median point, more in line with those lower frequencies within the body/mind/soul.

As far as I can see, there will always be some lower range of frequencies which can be seen as diametrically opposed to the more creative frequencies within the body/mind/soul. Whether analysts will still consider the term “ego” to still be applicable or not is anyone’s guess.

When certain subjects were brought up in my family, there was an intensity of feeling that colored everything that was said. When you start clearing, to a lesser degree, that is what it feels like, especially the first few cycles. You will clear feelings in the reverse order that they are laid out in the Map of Consciousness. Anything under 200 is considered a negative frequency and you start clearing with the frequency at 199, clearing Pride first, then Anger, then Desire and so on until you reach 0. As you clear the frequencies of Pride, you will feel that Pride, you will taste it, and it will color everything you do while it is clearing. When you are clearing Apathy, for some who are disposed more toward anger, there will be a giant “I DON’T CARE!”; and for others it will feel more like there is not enough energy to do what needs to be done, so why bother. For those who have prided themselves on their ability to control their mind, this will be a BIG awakening. But remember, it is not you that is saying “I don’t care”; it is something you locked away rather than hurt others and now you are feeling it so that you can let it go.

There are three values which can cause clearing to resume once the initial clearing has completed. Those are: a significant positive change in your Level of Purpose, your Level of Consciousness, or the frequency flowing through (Flow-Thru) your 6th, 7th, or 8th chakras. The amount of initial clearing (which can take 3 months or 20 years) relates in part to the amount of clearing required for the Level of Consciousness/Purpose that you are currently at. If your Purpose, Consciousness or Flow-Thru rises significantly then you will clear some more. It is a never-ending process as even the angels and archangels still have negative frequencies to clear.

MORE ON CLEARING

NOTE: If you do learn and extensively utilize Kinesiology or your Intuition, there will come a time when there will be an ongoing dialogue within your mind between the body/mind and the soul. The portion of the dialogue which can be attributed to the body/mind is in the form of directed thoughts, pictures and questions. While there have been instances where people have an open dialog with their soul based in words, the intuitive answers are either in the form of a “sense” of brightness or lifting sensation within the body core (normally interpreted as a “yes”) or a sense of weight or darkness (normally interpreted as a “no”). Another form of answer is a “sense” of something, a knowingness, which contains no words. Some of the time it is so brief that it is difficult to define. However, this knowingness can be translated at some later point by the use of Kinesiology (asking questions of the soul), or Intuition. Understand that there is a definite difference in content and source between this knowingness, and other sources such as the use of drugs, or excessive neurotransmitter levels, which can produce hallucinations.

At this time, it appears that the opening of the 6th Chakra allows access to the Grid for certain types of work, such as psychic healing. The 7th chakra opens the other direction, allowing energies from the unmanifest to be downloaded into the Grid. The 8th chakra appears to allow the user to reach into the unmanifest for power to do certain things. All of my testing has said NO to anyone at this time having 8th chakra power. In my testing, the only person that has tested positive for this type of power was Jesus Christ. I suspect that it will not be too long before we will be able to scientifically test for the presence of the flow of power in and out of the chakras.

It finally came to a point where my upward movement in Purpose, Consciousness and Flow-Thru had stopped and the clearing had finally come to an end about six months ago (mid 2005) and I breathed a sigh of relief. However, one day the second week of December (2005), there was an extremely loud and boisterous voice in my ear the entire way to the Chiropractor, and I had to stop the car to ask if my Level of Consciousness had changed. It had, and my body/mind had started clearing again, for only about the 500th time.

One of the things that this body/mind/soul seems to be able to do reasonably well is to document. It is quite possible that much of what happened during the period from late 2002 through 2005 was to provide illustrations for others. While the Indigo and Crystal children (Homo-Spiritus) will not have to endure nearly the same intensity and length (they have done it many times during previous lives which accounts for their higher incoming level of clarity) there is an entire planet of beings who will eventually have to endure much the same intensity as they approach the awakening process for the first time.